Though it may be hard to tell in recent videos, I am by all accounts an introvert over the years, I have learned what works for me to continue showing up in a community with ease and presence, which has changed my life I recently wrote trapped with 4 friends for 2 weeks straight and these are some things that I did. I brought a simple traveling altar with me with incense my favorite cookout, and my yoga mat these are all in because of the presence for me that I find refuge, and but for you, it could be a playlist or an instrument you’re learning to play and your favorite kind of team the mornings were an unspoken quiet time for all of us. I usually do a yoga practice focused on forward folds and twist, because those are supremely grounding to the nervous system, but any movement that my body is craving connected to my breath feels like medicine, although we had a full plans every day, so I wasn’t always able to have an hour long practice, and I don’t think it’s fully necessary to be attached to that any moment of deep awareness will ripple throughout your day whether that’s taking deep breaths with your coffee or a calm moment journaling in a cafe, anyway that you can routinely drop into the true as part of yourself will feel really replenishing, another one of my favorite grounding practices is cooking for myself, which can be hard to do when you’re traveling or road tripping, but I did manage to make it a priority and pick up some local veggies here in there taking care of my gut health with daily probiotics and eating things my body really loves, helps me to not feel really depleted and imbalance, because when I’m not sleeping or eating well it’s so much easier for me to feel moody or not want to be around anyone as one might expect and lastly before we get into it, I had so much work to do this one day and I decided to cancel the plans I made with my friends and just stay home, getting some things done and. I felt so fulfilled and complete that I always recommend honoring your internal needs over, not wanting to miss out or feeling FOMO is especially if you know your sensitive to social burn now it’s just not worth it. Hello, my fellow earth angels thank you so much for being here and joining me today. I’m so well versed in this topic at least from my own experience. I have always been extremely introverted, I grew up with 2 of my siblings and they were very extroverted my sister always had friends over just piling into the living room every single day, and I would stay upstairs in my room as much as possible sometimes I would come down for like 5 minutes just to say hi and people would be like, oh my god, I don’t even know you’re here what are you doing in your room, you know and I would just feel like just doing some D. I. Y. and just run back upstairs, I define being an introvert is someone who gets filled up with their time alone, that’s how I fill up my Cup and feel more like myself an extrovert being someone who gets more charge 5 being social and interacting with the community. Google says that an introvert is someone who simply shy or reticent, I want to pose this question to you one that I had to ask myself recently is are all of my attempts at being alone, the result of being an introvert, or are there parts of me that still feel unworthy of being seen, and I think that I used to isolate myself a lot and mask it as being an introvert which wasn’t the healthiest. I realize that I am so afraid of being, deeply flawed around other people or simply showing up in the community when I feel tired or when I don’t feel like I look good, or when I’m anxious or don’t have my to-do list on I only like showing up when I was my fullest most vibrant most energized positive self, and no other time and that’s just not healthy because all aspects of ourselves are worthy and welcome, and so foster deep intimate relationships you have to kind of be human, and let down that wall and be perfect around others and that’s something that has been continually breaking my heart opened eyes. I show up perfectly and still feel so loved and how. When I would have social anxiety I would take some time before entering any space a party a yoga class or whatever it was, and kind of dissolve all concepts of what I know myself to be and breathe deeply into my heart read my worth into my heart, and call upon all the things that I do you enjoy about myself and give myself a little pep talk in this way, and feel into this radiant heart space this energy of love that I have for all beings everywhere, it sounds really simple but I also do this before filming its kind of like what are my intentions who am I in this world I’m not just this body of not just his name. I am conscious of witnessing the embodiment of love, as corny as that sounds that is how I identify myself at my age. I my core and so breathing into that can just be a really good reminder and anchor for years, so that whenever your mind wants to go back into the anxiety of I’m not good enough. I’m weird I’m awkward it’s like I’m just a being of love so. That’s powerful, and untouchable, so I’ve learned for myself that I can spend around 3 days alone and feel good about that, by the end of the third day I might feel a little anxious a little on easy or that alone time will start to feel lonely, and that’s when I know that I need to hang out with someone and because I know this about myself I make about 2 to 3 plans a week phase them out accordingly, so that I can fill my Cup but then I don’t like isolate myself fully which is something that’s kind of easy to do as an introvert, it can be really helpful to know where you feel the most say speaking of those boundaries is going to be different depending on who you’re talking to but I am still really sensitive and empathetic, so sharing my boundaries through a message can be really helpful and even just sending a voice memo as an initial spark of the conversation and being like maybe we can dive into this more in person, that has been immensely helpful for me I know I need to be deeply quiet with myself that feels like medicine to me over everything, and when I have my headphones and I’m also probably not in a really good head space to talk. I’m just pretty introverted and I wanted to let you know so that we can just co-exist in a really beautiful way, and then you can follow it up in the mornings I don’t feel super social or when I’m in the middle of my work schedule at home. I may not be open to our long conversations but I can drop in for 10 or 20 minutes, I just spoke about this boundary to a friend, yesterday and I sent it through a voice memo I was nervous but then I was like I want to anchor in the world that I want to exist within where everyone is safe to be themselves, and if that’s the world I believe and then I should act accordingly and I sent it and she took it so well so hi thank you, so much for sharing what’s present on your heart and what’s with the navigating a so appreciate your vulnerability and your transparency with me on it an Ontario and every.
Way that feels good and you never want to have you fill over exuded a calm comfortable, and any any time it was released me I literally cried upon receiving that and you could also ask your friends, and family Hey I’m gonna go for a walk at some point every day just to be with myself and I’ll let you know in the morning according to our plans when I can do that, but I think that would be really good for my mental health, simple as that should get the job done instead of profusely apologizing for your needs being like thank you for seeing this, thank you for entering into the intimacy of who I really am and for learning how to Love Me, this is such a beautiful thing neutral loving information being shared, also continuing to see your therapist no matter where you are not neglecting those things that do make you feel really good and grounded, and I wanted to think better help for sponsoring today’s video, is there’s something interfering with your happiness or is preventing you from achieving your goals like feelings of shame or guilt, better hope will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist you can start communicating within 40 8:00 hours it’s not a crisis line, it’s not self help it’s professional counseling done securely online, and there is a broad range of expertise and better helps 15000 plus counselor network which may not be locally available in many areas, the service is available for clients worldwide you can log into your account anytime and send a message to your counselor will get timely and thoughtful responses plus, you can schedule weekly video or phone session so you won’t ever have to wait an uncomfortable waiting room, as with traditional therapy better health is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if needed, it’s more affordable than traditional offline counselling and financial aid is available, but help wants you to start living a happier life today, so visit better health.com slash he told me that’s better H. E. L. P.. E. and join the over 1000000 people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional, and there’s a special offer for you you can get 10 percent off your first month of better health.com slash, he told me you can also make a list of what fills you up to do in community things, that you really enjoy that don’t over exert you as an introvert, for example, going to a yoga class or even doing a video online at your house the you tube video, cooking a meal together rather than going to dinner which can feel really formal for me as an introvert it’s like my worst nightmare, to go to dinner with new people it’s just we’re sitting across from each other we have no choice but to gaze into each other’s eyes there’s no flow or ease to it, so instead I would much rather have a dinner party we can all move around, I feel comfortable in the space I can leave when I want to so that is something that I love knowing about myself dinner parties over going to dinner, you can go to the movies together go to a bookstore just do activities that make you feel safe as an introvert, and I pretty much don’t make any plans for more than a week out unless it’s traveling. I like to feel into what’s going on for me that’s Hey internally and externally, and that’s immensely helpful because it’s the worst feeling when you make a plan and then it arrives and you just. Have so much regret and there’s no easy you just feel so happy about it, so I try to avoid that at all costs and you can make a Copa had planned this is something, that I learned in the hospital which is just really helpful for whatever you might confront on your family vacation or your trips with friends, just knowing what the problem could be or how you feel in your body and what you want to do to respond to it.
some things for me are just taking myself out of the situation, going for a walk doing some chanting, some only vocal toning dropping into a forward fold on my yoga mat, and calling someone else with that I feel safe, especially with my family, sometimes we have different belief systems entirely in different ways of navigating this life, and so it can get edgy and I can feel like I’m crazy, and then I’ll call a friend who is deeply season understands me and I just feel hi the youth remembrance and. Regulation happened when I just can talk to someone who understands me, and you through this inner revolution of accepting yourself fully are helping to liberate those around you, and truly anchor in deep intimacy with your friends and family by initiating conversations of boundaries by sharing what you know about yourself, it’s a really beautiful process it’s a vulnerable and I. G. and it’s so worthwhile, it’s all about knowing how to take care of yourself to communicate well and to give yourself what you need so that you can just love others fully and be loved fully I would love to sit in silence with you and just pain all day and say one or 2 words to each other, and I think that it’s such a precious thing to be loud and to be silent and something that I realize was. I would cast so much shame upon myself when I didn’t want to talk, and then also when I was talkative or hyper energized I would also caution myself I would also be like oh my god you’re taking up so much space like calm down a little bit, you know and I realize that I was just never giving myself a break and that’s the most problematic thing was this internal voice of judgment that was constantly telling me that I was wrong, and softening that voice really became more of a mission and then changing who I was every single other day, so if you have the voice work from their work from the childhood trauma or the years of silencing and Smalling yourself and remember what being big feels like. I wanted to take a moment to answer some questions that you ask me on Instagram related to this topic. What to do when you start feeling awkward slash nervous in everyday conversation I got a similar question, also know what to talk about with people I overthink every sentence, and when I would get social anxiety it felt like my whole personality would just disappear. I just completely forgot who I was and what I liked, what I enjoyed, and one of my biggest hopes is to not be afraid of the silence of taking a moment. Breathed into love. I said that hard space and taken to the environment around you with whoever you’re with which I know is really basic and kind of small talking, but I’m assuming that in these experiences it might be with someone who you may not have a lot in common with of course, if you do you can talk about something that you really enjoy and shared thread of interest but it’s not you can talk about what’s going on around, you there’s a lot of people here today hi or it’s the summer solstice coming up do you do anything special for the summer, so students small target isn’t completely soul crushing perhaps like maybe not talking about the weather, and also asking a lot of questions about the other person if you don’t know what to say about yourself, if you lose your personality like what happens to me when I have social anxiety just focus all their energy on them pick their brain about what they like in life about what’s true for them, what season of life that they’re in ask them what they’re really excited about awesome a cool socks that they learn today, and just make the conversation engaging and like a little bit nerdy is about a preferred only see my friends one to 2 times a month. I love being alone and going out solo and there’s nothing wrong with that we’re making our own rules in all of life, there’s no prescribes that way that we’re supposed to be that’s more ideal than the other you can only look internally for information on how you want to show up in the world, and I think that’s incredible even know that about yourself and that you can share that with friends like every other week, in the months you see them that’s just how you operate and it’s so great because it’s what’s natural what feels best for you, how do you make friends so easily I. Have shared a lot of sisterhood on here and I have so many deep intimate loving friendship connections, and it’s because there are so many common interests of the people that I spend time with that, after hanging out once at work cuddling we’re talking about lacing crying we’re getting real, the traumas are being witnessed an optimized and it’s because we’re all in the deep listening as I like to call it will have a daily practice, we all walk through life with this trust and this awareness of the source and spirit and so we’ve all been doing this work to heal ourselves and breakthrough karma’s and be more compassionate be more objective the more nuanced and all of our opinions and.
So it’s easy to come together or when you are like that yourself and I’ve met most of my friends from Instagram Tiana Lopez check out her music on Spotify, she is one of my best friends and we met on Instagram on the first day that I linked up with her I felt like I was in a dream and we’re instantly just so close, and I just knew it was going to a line I have met up with people and the energy is in right, despite what they were sharing what they were presenting but that’s only happened one out of like 10 times, yeah, you can just have a coffee day and not commit to a full day of activities to when you meet up with these people and honestly, just being fully authentically yourself because then you’ll be mad at that level of authenticity and embodiment, how do you balance slash keep new relationships going on days where you don’t want to talk, now you don’t have to talk to your friends every single day, and when there’s someone who I’m really connecting with and I noticed that I’m not getting back to them enough or I don’t have space to make plans with them. I will tell them Hey this connection is so important to me. I love your energy, and I love what we create when we’re together right now I’m feeling really busy and I don’t have that much energy for socializing, but I just want you to know that I’m always thinking of you, even if I’m not messaging you are keeping up to date what works for me is just sending voice memos and getting back to each other every few days, if you do want to keep in touch and I would love to connect next month or whatever amount of time you need and so you can connect with them it’s like you don’t have to be in touch with your people every single day or even every single week, it’s something that I’ve felt shameful about and so anxious about not getting back to my friends who live far away for me all the time, but if I’m not seeing someone in person, it is really hard for me to keep in touch with them, especially through messages or calls, so I have spoken to each of these people and said Hey, sometimes I just disappear because. I don’t want to be on my phone all the time there are so many little things happening every single day, that I’m tending to I would love to just have one day a month where we catch up and I hope that’s okay that’s my boundary, that’s where I’m at right now all that being said thank you for showing up and just as you are I appreciate you, so deeply may continue to use your tools, connect your breath anchor and your dream reality through your actions through your boundary setting, I adore you many blessings until I see you next Friday.
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